hopeful

well, i can't help but feel it.
i would bet that its going to backfire on me.
but i really really don't want it to.

must read books (a list)

Choke by Chuck Palahniuk
The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green by Joshua Braff
The Wings of the Dove by Henry James
the "Sookie Stackhouse" books by Charlaine Harris

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance - Now with Ultraviolent Zombie Mayhem by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith
Sarah's Key by Tatiana de Rosnay
Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates
The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz
Julie and Julia: My Year of Cooking Dangerously by Julie Powell
Generation S.L.U.T.: A Brutal Feel-up Session with Today's Sex-Crazed Adolescent Populace by Marty Beckerman
Impulse by Ellen Hopkins
The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
Such a Pretty Fat: One Narcissist's Quest to Discover if Her life Makes Her Ass Look Big or Why Pie Is Not the Answer by Jen Lancaster

that's it for now.

a joke.

why must cleaning always be a chore?

ha.

get it?

thank you

for always ruining low flying planes for me.

that's the last thing i will let you rob from me.

sometimes

you read a book.
a good book that takes you totally by surprise.
never thought it would be that good.

downside? it made me realize i'm incredibly uncool.

never ever have i ever...

...oh wait.


yes i have.

generalized anxiety disorder.

you know that all too familiar twinge of panic you feel?
the one you think you got rid of, but is always there, putting you on edge?
making you lose sleep.
making you wonder.
making you question.

making you feel undeniably alone?

thats me.
and no amounts of klonopin will get rid of me.
enjoy.

never ever.

sometimes i get this overwhelming desire to just scream.

i just want all my thoughts to shoot out of me.

loudly and boldly for all the world to hear.

but i never want you to know...

i never ever want you to know.

a night for memories.

there are moments in life you realize that who you were before is far from who you are today.

sometimes, it can be a sad realization. like when you realize you're not a child anymore, no matter how much you want to hold on to that awe and wonder...

but sometimes...




sometimes you realize the pain you held is no longer there.
it's incredibly freeing. i hope someday you feel it too.

why can't you see it?

dear friend,

after taking a careful look at your lists of qualities you want in a significant other i have only one thing to say.


i love you too.
and i'm right here.

i just realized...

...you are much more interesting on twitter.

kissing.

while we kissed, i smiled.

you asked me "what?"

i kept smiling.

it was you.

and it was genuine.

i haven't smiled like that since.

dear...

don't apologize if you don't mean it. i'm firmly starting to believe you know how much you're tormenting me, and you enjoy it.

the sad part is, i will take that over you forgetting me any day.

favorite words (part 1)

tryst
tremble
beloved
lovely
succumb
insatiable
fragrant
nectarine
caress
sinuous
scrumptious
ethereal
indulge
aroma
lingering
luxurious
gravity
afternoon
ambience


i'll keep this updated.

island.

dear puerto rico,
tiny island i was born in,
keeper of the people i love,

i don't give a shit about the national rain forest being a new natural wonder. stop trying to impress everyone else. be comfortable in your own skin.

(is skin the proper term?)

i am annoyed by your insecurities. and that's why i want to leave you behind.
and i'm taking my family with me.


sincerely,
me.

a thought. or perhaps a question.

what does it mean when i have imaginary conversations with someone who has hurt me? am i crazy or is it just a way for me to process?

a letter.

dear sun:

i am not amused by this heat. not one bit.

att.
-g

today is the day.

today is the kind of afternoon best spent in bed, rolling around with someone you at least find mildly attractive, who can't keep their hands off you.